I’m going to write few lines on much more complex topic but i tried my best. Let’s see how’s this……….
The day the whole world thought most deserving to celebrate love. Maybe it’s a good thing and maybe it isn’t. Come to think about it, love is such a generic thing. How do you categorize relationships? Someone teach me, because I have a life full of complicated relationships beyond explanation.
What am I doing on 14th February 2018? Well, I was hoping I could pull together a vase of flowers for my grandmother and then bring both of my grandparents out for a date and play cupid an entire evening. And if that fails (because they’re old and maybe I’ll cook dinner at home), I’ll be home with a tub full of ice cream(chocolate flavour) watching my favourite movies and maybe getting jealous over those flowers, hearts and chocolates on my FB feed, WhatsApp Status.
Tell me, how does one go about falling in love, and meaning so much to each other and when you break up, what happens?(Let’s not forget those who celebrate yearly, monthly and weekly anniversaries.) Something tells me it’s not as simple as chucking away the dead bouquet of flowers and tearing pictures off of your wall. What do you do to all those pictures on your social medias and that too with multiple accounts, do you go about deleting them and replacing it with a stupid quote like, ‘Single is the way to go’ emotional emojis, or do you post new pictures with your newfound soulmate? Because you clearly seemed to think the last one was THE ONE, but nope. So, now there’s an ex and there’s the next. How do you fix your broken heart and fall in love again, and more so this question to those who fall in love fast… Nothing wrong with falling in love fast, everyone needs some love, everyone deserves love and most importantly, everyone deserves to heal. And then, there are those cheating while in a relationship? It sounds disgusting as it is, if you truly respect the one you’ve been loving, no matter how much your love is falling apart, you end that relationship before starting a new one, it’s common sense. You don’t break that person’s heart and shamelessly accept the fact that you were screwing someone else and blame them even more for a failing relationship to begin with for which you might have been a reason for. Those kind of people need to rot in hell.
We’re getting out of context? Yea I thought so too, let’s leave it there and get onto talking about what I really wanna say.
This Valentine’s will be yet another one adding to my 17 years’ list(minus few) of single life. Oh don’t get me wrong, being single is probably the world’s best feeling ( Don’t be wrong) and believe me, it’s better off this way. I’m genuinely happy except for the fact that maybe I spend too much time alone (not whole) and I’m far too okay with it. Not that it’s wrong, well it shouldn’t be.
You want an honest answer, sure I was jealous. Say until one year or half months ago. Jealousy doesn’t hit me off anymore because love my dear, isn’t true. I used to respect love ,in my own world and be fond of relationships and the idea of having to be with one and marrying the SAME one. But somewhere along the line, it got corrupted and maybe it was okay with everyone but not so simply with me. I’d rather be alone than to put my heart out and let someone take it and fool me around in the name of love but i did unwillingly that mistake.
I have friends who are still in love with the same girl from day one and that, I really respect. I’m not saying you can’t be in love over and over again, I’m saying it’s a weird concept for me to accept and be okay with. Maybe because of everything I had and lost, and because of everything I saw too fake and maybe because of everything I was promised to and got broken. Don’t mistake me for a ‘Valentine Complainer’, I’m not one. I still love the idea of cheap chocolates and flowers and hearts waiting to be broken or with broken one. Kidding with the last one.
I know of people out there who’ve long given up hope on love and life, I know of people who are looking for someone to fill the space that has been empty far too long, I know of people longing for love, the one they know they wouldn’t find. I was someone who had unshakable faith in love, and now it’s just broken pieces of glass on the damn floor cutting my feet as I try to walk along the road of life. It’s trouble, it’s pain and more than anything, it’s too much memories to give up to be carried around for the rest of your life. And tell me, what’s more depressing than that?
See, you don’t have to be Romeo and Juliet or whatever legacy to prove your love, Dear, you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Just to each other, that’s all I ask. Love isn’t wrong, but because of all the messed things that happen in between and because of all the fucked up issues you hear concerning two people, just makes you wanna throw yourself off the edge.
Love isn’t about the right or wrong, it’s simply about falling in love with someone who inspires you to be a better person each day, it’s about being in love with that someone no matter how screwed things get, it’s about looking back at ridiculous times and laughing them off , it’s about understanding, it’s about trust. It’s about pretty much everything and anything you can’t find these days.
When you love someone, genuinely, that kind of love never dies. Sure you can fight and get mad and maybe even leave each other for good, but deep down inside we both know you read that sentence and got reminded of someone you can never have again because of various reasons but there goes the heart yearning for yet another love before it’s all healed up. That’s just part of being human. You’ve got your humanity to love and be loved, you can’t pretend to be a monster who doesn’t need love because, let’s be real, everyone wants to be loved and everyone deserves to be loved.
With or without a better half, Valentine’s can still be celebrated. Celebrate it with your family and friends, people who’ve always been there ( not as last option). Or with people who don’t leave you behind or break your heart and pretend not to care. With people who’ve had your back a lot more times than you can count, people who can’t go on a day without texting you, people who love you so much that with or without a title; they’re always there, people who’ve walked your dreams and aspirations with you, and people who you know can’t live another second seeing you collapse a whole in front of them. These people need not be someone you’d hug and kiss everyday but are still your own saviours, so maybe Valentine’s isn’t actually just for those in love with someone they intend to marry someday. Maybe there should be no Valentine’s, everyday should give you a reason and purpose to celebrate those around you. You don’t need a damn occasion to tell you to plan a nice dinner or a long drive or a sweet and surprising moment, you just need to find time and give yourself an excuse to pull it all together.
If you’ve got no Valentine, don’t sulk either. It’s just another year and who knows when the chapters end and begin, your life might just start to change right about now or tomorrow or next week. Either way, the presence of someone shouldn’t put you on and off a good mood, it isn’t healthy. Never let anyone be in charge of the way you feel, it’s like handing over born- devil your heart and expecting him not to break it. More so, you have control over your own life and if you think your current situation is awful, do something about it and get off the damn bed. You define yourself. The love of your life should make you better but you have to be somewhere in good shape to hold your lives up together because he or she is probably hoping you’d make them better too! And thinking that the day you find love, is gonna magical make your life go from 0 to 100 real quick, doesn’t exist, you’re not Cinderella, Prince Charming , so either walk into sunshine proudly or scrub floors forever. You decide.
Love is the one thing that gives everyone some kind of hope to wanna get off the bed or keep living life and doing something better each day. Now I wake up every day so that I can spend more time with those I love because such precious time wasted won’t come back no matter how hard you cry when they’re gone. I finally moved my steps and took my phone and deleted all the fuckinggg contacts , pictures, everything. And stupid thing about humans is that you always want something you can’t have, and the moment you have it, you disregard it and when it’s gone, you go crazy obsessing over how you never appreciated it in the first place. So, don’t repeat the damn cycle and make a difference, one that you’ll be proud of when you’re 70 and telling life stories to your grandchildren.
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&_Keshav Sawarn |
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